Pablo

I haven't written anything in a while so it really feels good to be able to finish this poem. Actually I have a lot of unfinished ones waiting to be done so I hope that I'll be able to make the updates a little more regular. As ashamed as I am to do it, this is yet another poem about a good friend. Am I getting sappy?

Monday, 26th April 2010

Pablo

(Makita mo sana ang sarili mo sa mga talatang ito na alay ko dahilan ng iyong paglisan patungo sa lupain ng kristal na ulan at dahong ginto.)

Nalalagas na ang buhok sa ulo: binibilang bawat araw ng buhay mo - tulad ng boteng puno ng buhanging patuloy sa pagtulo.
Isang hibla para sa bawat bangon ng araw sa umaga; mahigit walong libo at kwarenta na pala - silang mga hiblang nilisan ka.

May angking alab ang mata na sa talas ng isip nagmula - ngunit kahit ang pinaka-bughaw na apoy: ningas at abo lamang sa kamay ng lampa.
Katulad ng bata - ika'y utak tighang-lupa: kailangan diligan ng sagot ang isang libong tanong sa ulo ukol sa ilang daang paksa.
Isa kang peste! Pinagagalaw mo ba ang tamad at antuking kabayo? Langaw ka bang maka-Soktratiko? O pinaiinit mo lang ang ulo ng tao?

At sinong magaakalang mapaglinlang pala ang 'yong mukha - na kayang maitago ang mga pangarap at panaginip ng isang bata?
Ngunit naimarka na ang 'yong mga pantasya ng pluma sa papel: bahagharing pakpak ng ilaw at liwanag (ala Tinkerbell?).
Karga pa ng hininga mo ang prinsipyo't katarungan: kaawaan ang mga nahihirapan; husgahan ang makasalanan; at kung iisa ang dalawa - ewan?
At tinatakpan ng kamay ang mga mata nang di makita ang nagbubunga ng sala. Papano napatol ang husga sa di nakita: si Hustisya ka ba?

Likido ka na walang anyo na hiwalay sa kinalalagyan nito. Isang angking kakayahang makitungo kahit saan, kahit kanino. Pero...
Tila talbog ng tunog ang sayo'y makipagtalastasan: kailangang pangunahan, at laging bulong ang balik - kahit sa sigaw na may kalakasan.
At nakatago sa labirinto ang nilalaman ng iyong puso. Saktong tanong at saktong pagkakataon ang mga natatanging taling maglalabas ng damdamin mo.
Para ring pader ang pagitan ng larawan natin ng mundo; at nasa lakas at bukas ng isip ang makakita ka gamit mata ko, at ako naman sa iyo.
Ating mga pagkakaiba: matingkad at litaw. Isang relasyong nakatayo sa pagaalay ng abot-tanaw: pagkakaisang walang pagsasapaw.

Kinikilala kang kaibigang mabuti datapwat totoo ang lahat ng nasabi. Balintuna ng buhay, papaano nga ba nangyari?
Marahil naakit ako - tulad ng iba - sa liwanag ng pagkatao mo (hindi ng 'yong ulo). Hindi lang kaya pangarap ang maladiwatang pakpak mo?
Lalo na't nakikita ko ang iyong matayog na paglipad. Kahit ang ibon ay lampa lumipad nung sisiw pa lang 'sya; sa pagtanda kung san san na napadpad.
Alam mo bang sa bawat kutya at lait, may naiiwan sa bunganga na di kapansinpansing duda at pait? Nang minsang pagmunihan nauwi sa tanong: inggit?
Kung meron kang mga masarap isarili na karanasan; pepwes meron akong mga katanungang di kailangan sagutan!
Pwede rin namang nadala lang ako ng pagtula at ng ligaya ng pagsalat ng letra. Parang batang nagkulay sa labas ng linya, ako kaya'y sumablay at sumobra?
Sa huli, meron tayong pagsasamang yin-yang ang aking palagay: ang kaunting kaibahan sa anyo ay nawawala sa pagtugma ng mga tingkad nating taglay.

Savannah

Again another poem about a dear friend. Although it's not the usual cheeziness - except for the last few lines. He he he

Thursday, 18th March 2010

Savannah

Posible ba na ang tao'y mabulag ng ligaya?
Hindi dahil sa pagsara ng mata dulot ng pagtawa,
Bagkus umaapaw sa mata ang liwanag ng galak.
Parang kislap at kinang ng ginto't pilak.
At sa pagnanasa mong kamkamin ang ilaw,
hindi mo na mapansin ang samu't-saring kulay ng mundo sayong
pagkasilaw

Maaari bang mabingi ng halakhak?
Katulad ng ulang patuloy na pumapatak,
Nilulunod ang lahat ng yanig sa hangin.
Kaya't walang nalalabing maaaring dinggin,
Kundi ang malinaw at malutong na hahaha,
Hindi mo na madinig ang pabago-bagong awitin ng mundong
maka-orkestra

Maaari bang mapipi sa tuwa?
Na kahit hindi putulin ang iyong dila,
Kakatayin, tatapyasan naman ang iyong bokubaloryo.
Sa ganoong sitwasyon, masasabi mo bang sayo ang mga salitang
bibigkasin mo?
At sa mga pangungusap mo, makikilala ba ang 'yong pagkataong tunay?
Hindi ka na matatagpuan ng mga kakilala mo, tulad ng mga salitang
nanakaw habambuhay.

Hindi manhid ang taong ganap na masaya.
Masdan mo ang pagsabog ng kulay ng mundo.
Pakinggan mo ang iba't-ibang awitin nya.
Hanapin mo ang mga salitang talagang sa iyo.
Ako ba'y nadaranas ng iyong mga pandama?
Sapagka't ikaw ay palaging nadaranasan ko.

Luna

This poem is a re-write of an old poem that I lost. I barely remember the original except for the recurring stanza. Somehow I do feel that this new poem has kept the essence of the old one. In fact I have a hunch it's even better than its predecessor - of course I would know for sure.

Sunday, 21st February 2010

Luna, Luna,
cratered and gray,
why do you stay?

Why must he be the one,
to be your life's center,
when he has his sun?
Do you hope to enter -
between them intervene?

Luna, Luna,
cratered and gray,
why do you stay?

The little light you show -
albeit alluring -
is naught but a coy glow
that pales in the shining
splendor of bright starlight.

Though you capture his glance
every evening passing;
see - his look is askance.
His countenance facing
the breaking dawn of day.

Luna, Luna,
cratered and gray,
why do you stay?

The sun you imitate,
catching what rays you can;
but his love you won't abate.
What he'll see even then
is a mere reflection

of radiant rays that spring
forth from a shining sun.
Only hurt shall it bring.
His stare shoots - like a gun -
a nipping nostalgia.

Luna, Luna,
cratered and gray,
why do you stay?

Find your self in his eyes,
do you - in his longing?
Looking at his love, cries -
all that he is hiding -
you hear: ringing, howling.

He's your center, your world;
the sun his focal point.
Your orbits spiraled, swirled,
bringing both bodies joint
in a very black hole.

Luna, Luna,
cratered and gray,
why do you stay?

Fate paves a painful path
for Hyperion's offspring.
The Universe's wrath:
upon her who did bring
for all eternity?

Luna, Luna,
cratered and gray,
why do you stay?

Fire & Earth

Double haiku combo. Since I wrote these on the same day, might as well post them on the same day as well...

Tuesday, 16th February 2010

Fire

Flickering flames rise
in one brightly burning burst.
Leaving ash - falling.

Earth

Mountain: towering.
Stillness - belies rumbling rocks.
The mountain trembles.

Untitled

A poem I wrote on the spot while I was writing a letter to a friend who lives in Chicago, 8000 miles away...

Friday, 29th January 2010

She blows the candles
The smoke swirls toward the sky
Whispering her wish

Untitled

Thursday, 8th October 2009

Puddles aren't oceans
and an ocean is just a puddle.

The silent atmosphere
carries clearer sounds.

Like the song said of the circle game,
you can only look but never go back.

One must have his eyes on the road.
Trouble is what you'll get when they wander.

Or maybe it's a form of myopia
(seeing only your self or him or her)?

Like a synaptic switch switched off:
a gap no jolt from the brain can jump.

How does one stop being stupid?

Untitled

Wednesday, 19th August 2009

run...
faster...
push yourself...
run as fast as you can...
feel the wind in your face...
feel the rush of your blood...
and in a sudden burst of light -
consume your being.

Wind

January 2009

Wind

What makes flora dance
with virtuoso and grace,
wind or breathe of life?

Water

November 2008

Water

Within my cupped palms
Slipping, sliding through
Leaves a cold feeling

Yet another untitled poem

Friday, 22nd December 2006

Two days ago it seemed I was catching up
Every minute was passing by too quickly
I was too busy to notice emotions

Yesterday, when everything was over and done, my heart started
beating again
For a minute I felt life had stopped
The emptiness from before resurfaced and ate at me

Thankfully, the noon rain cleanses
The cool air is good for sighing
And the clear water is good for crying

Today I feel great
I am normal
And life is good

Tomorrow I'll be catching up again
Every minute passes by too quickly
And I'll be too busy for emotions

Baguio

Baguio is a city in the Mountain Province of the Philippines. Actually I'm not sure as to the accuracy of that statement. Suffice it to say that Baguio is a city on a mountain which belongs to a group of mountains that primarily constitute one of the provinces of the Philippines. It's called the vacation capital of the Philippines - at least before. I never understood the fondness of Manilenyos for Baguio - I think it's a horrid city. Why write a poem about it? The poem is more a poem about a person than the city really - at least the driving force is a person.

Thursday, 7th December 2006

Baguio

the sun is intense
but the air is cool
like fire and ice
playing on the skin
a familiar sensation...

here in this city
here in your home
here in your memories

i look for you

in the brown blur
of people passing
the gray facade

in the row of faces
looking out of jeeps
beeping by

will i see you here

in the city's heart
beating with life
busy with life

i look for you

above the city
where manors stand proud
cloud covered sky-dwellers

dignified doldrums
and stale frozen fogs
hide the heart

will i see you here

in the city's mind
while the cryogenic calm
conceals emotions crying out

i look for you

as Helios' hands
reach out to me
outside the city

8000 Miles

Sunday, 19th February 2006

8000 Miles

The sea beats
Calling my heart

I hear your voice,
your laughter
amidst the morning
sea breeze blowing

The waves beneath my feet,
like your hands:
both heavy and gentle,
pull me further,
deeper, away from home

Are you there,
at the horizon's end?
I want to succumb
to the pull of the tide
The currents will take me
to your land
of golden leaves
and crystal rain

Firetrees

This is perhaps my personal favorite out of all my poems. It's not so much the writing style or the content as it is the vivid images and memories it elicits in my mind. Everytime I read it I remember that day - well a highly romanticized version of that day - when I was strolling along one of the streets of UP Diliman. *sigh* Good times... good times...

Sunday, 4th December 2005

Firetrees

Summer ignites
life and love
with its rekindling warmth

Flaming flowers bloom
Orange and reds
Embers on emeralds

Steps upon the pavement
of raconteur chroniclers
Friends sharing lives

A heart is set ablaze
screaming unheard whispers
of its painful joys

But winds blow away flowers
And rains can quell a blaze
The silence of a constant pitter-
patter upon the gray

But echoes remain in the trees
of memories and longing
The winds whisper them to me

Dancefloor

Friday, 11th November 2005

Dancefloor

Nasan ka na
Nagsimula na ang kanta
Sa bawat linyang mabigkas
Lumalapit ang wakas

Itinutulak ang sarili paharap
Laban sa agos ng tao't panahon
Para lang makita ka
Kagandahang hawak ng iba

At matatapos ang awit
kasabay ng gabi
kasabay sa pagpatak
ng lungkot at pangungulila

Iabot mo ang iyong kamay
Kahit naiwan na sa panahon
Kahit nahugasan na ng luha
Kahit wala na ang tugtog
Upang tayo'y maging isa
Sa isang sayaw
Isang sandaling wala na

Ngayo'y naghihintay sa kama
Nakatungangang umaasa
Upang masagot ang mga bakit
na bumabagabag sa akin

Pinabayaang pagkakataon
Kung mahabol ko lang sana
Hindi na magpapatangay
Sa bilis ng buhay

At sa bukang liwayway
Maliligo sa liwanag
Malilimot ang gabi
at sa panaginip...

Iabot mo ang iyong kamay
Bayaan mong ika'y matangay
Lumipad sa ulap
Sa langit ng aking ligaya
tayo'y magiging isa
sa isang sayaw
isang sandaling atin

Kalay

This is the first of a series of love poems and the first of three poems in Tagalog. I believe this is the point in my life where I reached the zenith of falling in-like. As Fiyero put it, "somehow I've fallen under your spell; and somehow I'm feeling it's up that i fell."

Wednesday, 5th October 2005

Kalay

Kwadradong kulungan
Tanikala ng isipan
Hindi mapigilang
h'wag umaklas at tumakas

Nakasabit sa tali ang kamay
at manhid na mga paa
Aliping piyerot ng apat na sulok
ng gusaling bilangguan ko

Nakikita lamang mga ulap at langit
at sa gilid, dugo't luha
ng mga matang
wala na sa mukha

Naririnig ang lagadab
Ang awit ng demonyo
Isang pabulong na pagakit
Sumasapaw sa mga boses ng ulo

Naaamoy ang kalawang:
sa mga rehas at kadena
sa malapot na basa ng sahig
Ginagahasa ang nirereglang ilong

Nalalasahan? Wala!
Ni butil ng kanin,
o patak ng tubig ay
hindi kailangan ng bilanggo

Sa kulungan kong ito:
walang sakit
walang pangit
walang pagod
walang gulo

Wala; wala; wala -

kung hindi kalayaan.

Kalayaan

Saturday, 17th Semptember 2005

Kalayaan

sithit at pulupot
ahas
tuklaw sa ugat
lason
sunod-sunod na pagsaksak
dugo
marahang pinipiga
luha
maalat na mata
bulag
alab na galit sa puso
abo
hihipang marahan ng hangin
lipad
patungo sa araw
kalayaan

Fin

I've already forgotten why I chose this title for this poem. I guess this is the ultimate form of the saying that once a work is finished it no longer becomes the writer's own.

Thursday, 8th September 2005

Fin

Endless infinity
Glowing like a fervent flame burning out
A pale orange orifice upon the dark expanse
A trace of day piercing the night

Sink into the darkness
Vanish, Luna, from my sight
Inducer of insomnia
give me repose!

Endless infinity
The darkness made violet by your light
No glitter upon the sea above me
Eaten by your vicious glow

Sink into the sea
Let it shimmer
Once again for me
Give me repose!

Endless infinity
The madness, it chases me
The tack-tacking and garb-garbling
running through my ears

Sink into the silence
Memories of madness
Of daylight
Of noise
Give me repose!

Endless infinity
Spinning, circling, orbing
My eyes follow outlines
silhouettes and flashes

Sink into abyss
Let me rest in darkness
Let me see no light
Let me see no shadows
Let me sleep at night

Give me repose...

Untitled

It's a three line poem similar to the previous post. I don't know which is better but I know both are a bit juvenile.

Thursday, 4th August 2005

tumitibok ang isip
dumadaloy
dugo't lason

And because I feel so bad with just one three liner, I'll post two three liners today. Yey me! This time it's a haiku and it's in English.

Monday, 29th August 2005

Butterflies

Youthful butterflies
flutter fickly past flowers
chasing through the fields

Empty

Tuesday, 21st June 2005

Empty

Pour within me that which I lack
Let it flow profusely
upon my cup
and through my veins

Intoxicated
over-gayed
for but a moment's span

Quenching my desires
Only to find
that I shall never have
a final glass

Ginaw

Monday, 23rd May 2005

Ginaw

Naaalala ko ang jaket ko
at iihip ang ginaw.
Nasaan ang yakap mo,
ang init mong bigay?

O natatanging jaket ko -
na nanggaling pa sa Baguio -
kapag wala sa piling
oh how cold the feeling

At ang kyut na disenyo:
inagaw ang tingin ko.
Nang una kong makita,
inilabas ko aking pera.

Ngunit ikaw ay iniwan
sa pangingibang-bayan.
At sa aking paguwi,
ika'y susuutin muli.

At laking gulat na lamang
sa aking pagbabalik-bayan
nang aking nalaman:
ika'y hindi pala sakin

Naaalala ko ang jaket ko,
at iihip ang ginaw.
Nasaan ang yakap mo,
ang init mong bigay?

Untitled

Wednesday, 4th May 2005

Listening without earphones on,
the music has not gone.
It plays,
can't you hear it?
It plays loudly,
can't you feel it?
It plays so lively,
can't you see it?
It's here.
It's there.
Listen!
Life is singing,
can't you hear?

Bracelet

I like this poem. It reminds me of a very good friend - he'll be gone come Aug/July. Boo to the fact that post-graduate studies are best obtained abroad!

Saturday, 23rd April 2005

Bracelet

bracelets are like friendships - you showed me this.

as long as the beads hold tight

it is infinite

a never ending circle

-you gave me a bracelet didn't you?
and it is a token of our love-hate-love relationship
remember?

the beads could crack

crumble and crush

but as long as the links hold on

it doesn't matter

...well it seems i broke mine.
a cruel foreshadowing of fate perhaps?

just tell me this: can bracelets be fixed?

Midnight Memory

This poem was written immediately after the fact - or rather, after the event. It's not as refined as the other poem I wrote about the same set of events. It's a narration of both events and the feelings that were elicited that night: it was our graduation ball. Okay, so maybe it's less a narration of events than it is a narration of feelings. It as an altogether odd night with all its interesting experiences.

Saturday, 2nd April 2005

Midnight Memory

It's still fresh in my mind: the picture of your eyes
And their beauty overshadowed by your loneliness
Veiled by your tears
Swollen from the pain
And I feel so responsible
As if I'd let you down
As if I could have prevented everything
And it pains me so that I have pained you
You are a friend
Maybe even more than that...
But I have made a mistake
And all I can say is I'm sorry
And I truly am

Awts

This is quite an odd poem - if i can even call it that. Hmmm, it's more a free-write than anything else. A trail of thought kind of thing. It's not really that great but I think it serves as a good reminded for me: especially these past few days.

Sunday, 20th March 2005

Awts!

When I look
I see you
When I listen
I hear you

Hoy adik gumising ka nga!
Ba't di mo makitang wala kang mapapala?!
Ba't di mo makita ang buhay mong pabaya?
Laging nalulungkot, laging nakatunganga.

I remember each day
...
I think about each moment
...

Hoy gago -
hindi naman kayo!
Hoy ungas -
kalimutan ang nakalipas!

Kalabuan ang buhay
Kalinawan ang mamatay
Itapon ang sarili sa kalinawan
Magpalamon ka na sa kawalan

Perfect Day

Friday, 18th February 2005

Perfect Day

Gray and glum skies
Haunting thunder cries
Heaven's teardrops falling
The world in desolation - stagnating

My hands were dripping wet
Twas perfect: the plan I had set
Now my body is soiled
and my rage is at peace

I return to my corner
Where shadows can't enter
There, I hide once more -
innocent of the gore

But bloodied fists are hard to hide
when they're wiping tears you cried

Her disfigured face haunts me
but my dreams are of her beauty
Voice that calms my soul
Scream that makes me lose control

I always remember my perfect day
There in that moment I wish I could stay

I spoke
She screamed
I touched
She slapped
I dreamed
She wept
All over her i crept

I am timid, reserved,
uncared for, but known -
her love i deserved
And so desire had grown

threshold
madness
uncontrolled
unconsciousness

Thursday, 30th December 2004

Monday

I'm sitting here this lonely night
Yesterweeks pass by me
I remember days before our break
They make me long for Monday morning

Heaven

Friday, 7th May 2004

Heaven

He stood atop a ledge
taking his last breath
looking down from the edge
and in an instant... death

From a nightmare he had been
The hell he had seen
It made him alert
It made him aware

He opened his eyes
Waking from unending sleep
He was up in the night sky
and looked upon the horizon deep

Surrounded by the empty dark
he was alone; starlight as company
Still silence; no murmur nor bark
He had so many questions, but no one to query

What he didn't see
What he failed to notice
Is the fact that the light around him was his...

An untitled poem

To celebrate the birth of this blog here's a poem I wrote a long time ago. It's the oldest one in my collection. I've written several poems before this one but I lost all of them.

Monday, 3rd of May 2004

I'm here silent
Muted by your absence
Quiet... with my thoughts
I see straight without you in my life
Everything is clear without your chaos
But my mind is driven mad
My life has found its solitude
My mind has found its turmoil
Your void filled with my success
But within me I'm still empty
Everything I have is because I'm doomed
Because I'm lonely
I've busied myself to forget
To cover up old scars
And even my new wounds
The healing is skin-deep.

The Ws of this blog.

Who: I'm a person who likes writing. I'm not a prolific writer but I do try to write as much as I can - which isn't a lot. Mostly I write poems because they're the only form of literature that suits my very short attention span and work ethic. I am, however, trying to write short stories of late. I do wish i find enough concentration, creativity, and will power to finish them. Oh - I'm Filipino by the way.

What: This is actually my second blog. I made this blog as a storehouse of all my literary works - i'm using the word loosely here. So all you'll find on this blog are my literary brain children. Oh - since I'm Filipino, some of the poems are in Tagalog.

Why: First I tried keeping hard copies of my poems - my family moved while i was studying abroad and now they've all mysteriously disappeared. Then I tried keeping them in my laptops - both crashed by the way. This is why I'm very thankful that I posted some poems on my other blog so I was able to recover most of them; that doesn't mean I didn't lose a lot. For that reason I decided to make this blog. This way I have a place where I can find all my poems (and hopefully stories too in the future) without having to sift through the daily dramas of my life.

When: Well this is mostly for myself. You(referring to myself) began this blog on the 16th of February 2010. Though the first entry, as you can see, is dated the 17th.